Advaita-The crest jewel of Hinduism

 I wished i was dead.It was one of those days in which i found it hard to believe that my heart continued to beat.I found no reason,no right to be alive.But,there i was..hale and healthy.Inspite of the grief and misery that hung heavy inside the hall,i became a bit philosophical.I had read in the puranas that life ends only when yama arrives.Wasn't it time for him to turn up?Or was it because i was so very stone hearted?All those years i had been under the impression that there couldn't be nothing worser than death.But something had changed in those few minutes.There was a change,alright..Whether for good or bad,i didnt know.My mindset had changed.It definitely was something i couldn't understand.Suddenly,Buddhism made sense.The very same Buddhism i had fought hard to avoid,made perfect sense.Something in my DNA had changed..
Buddha says that along with each thought that crosses man's mind,he becomes a new jiva.This philosophy normally sounded absurd to me.If a new jiva is born with each passing thought,there could never be scope for recollection.One should never be able to switch to one's previous school of thought.But common sense and experience always always argued against this philosophy.man through generations had proven that he had the power to rectify,reform and change to the past form..
But,this situation was different.I really felt that i was no longer the same.A new jiva..no longer the same.For the first time in memory,i despised myself for being alive.My eyes fell upon the laughing Buddha on the fridge.He indeed seem to be having the last laugh.I had indeed lost a battle.A battle that had been going on in my mind.What the results would be,i found it frightening to imagine."You are too young,i told myself..You are not a new jiva..You are Ambarish and shall remain so..Such stupid thoughts do cross people's minds when you are in an emotional frame of mind".But that was not enough..
I felt too shy to reveal my thoughts to my parents.I knew perfectly well that my friends didnt know a thing  about all this.Where else could i go?my mind was turbulent.i could not trust it,atleast for the moment.dropping off to sleep would have meant staving off the problem at hand.I decided to place my trust in my own intellect.
Hinduism had been threatened by Buddhism for  ages.It had resulted in the conversion of millions of Hindus into Buddhism.But,even then,Hinduism had survived not only the Buddhist onslaught,but also the challenges posed by the marauding hordes of Ghazni,ghori,mughals,the mongols,and the cunning Christian missionaries.It continued to exist like the undying Sun.There must be a reason,i told myself.I searched for hope,peace and light.I prayed like i had never done before.. तमसोमा  ज्योथिर गमय..Lead me from darkness to light..and,light i did find..in the form of an undying lantern..
It was Adi Shankara..Adi Shankara had been the sage who had protected India from the on-slaught of Buddhism.He had freed many from the dilemna that existed in those dark days..Hinduism or Buddhism..He was the first person to introduce the concept of institutionalism in Hinduism.It was a significant,welcome change.Hinduism needed to adapt.His four mutts still stand tall as pillars of knowledge,enlightenment.Adi shankara had decided to give this small boy some knowledge,i was sure.With this thought,my old scepticism of Buddhism returned.Due to Acharya's grace.And through my common sense.I had gone back to my old thoughts.I had retrieved my old self.I had realized my power to recollect.This was something i had marvelled for so long(I mean,the setting up of four mutts).

Life had come a whole circle in the last 30 minutes..I had heard about Acharya'shilosophy of Advaita.All i knew at that stage was that advaita meant non duality." According to advaita,जीवात्मा and परमात्मा are one and the same",i had read somewhere.I didnt know anything else.Now that i had been freed from my dilemna with his help,i had a sudden urge to know more about advaita.I have been reading more and more about it whenever i have got time..It has been a transformation,if not realization.I now at least comprehend what is to be done to understand one's self,howerver far i may be from realizing it..It is a beginning,never the less.I know i have no worth to write about advaita in my blog,but still,i do feel the need to share what i know..So, i just give you the link to vivekashudamani,one of Acharya's many books on Advaita.http://www.vivekananda.net/PDFBooks/Vivekashudamani.pdf

 Regarding what made me feel that i had better die,i would write about it later..Its getting late..Got to sleep..

Ambarish