The Shrine Eternal

If you are wondering if i've lost my grip on English grammar on seeing the title of this post,I would not blame you;for two reasons:
1)Yeah,i've really lost my hold on english these days.After i type a new post in this blog, I've to read and re-read it many times over until i've corrected(or debugged it,if u'd like it that way) all the errors.
2)it really does seem grammatically wrong to say Shrine Eternal rather than Eternal Shrine.
This being the fact,I do assure you that there's no mistake as far as the title of this post is concerned.....
The Somnath Temple in Gujarat is known as "Shrine Eternal".The first thing that would strike your mind when I mention this temple is Mohd.Ghazni who tore the temple to pieces.But there's a lot more to the temple which stands tall as a symbol of sacrifice,hope and pride for millions of Hindus all over the world.The bloody history of the Somnath temple is a cycle of destruction,resurrection,determination,self assertion and liberation.The history of the Somnath temple is reflective of the history of India itself.
The Hindu tradition has it that the Somnath temple was first built by the Moon God in gold.Later,Raavan,the king of Lanka built it in silver.Lord Krishna later built it in sandalwood.Finally,it was built in  stone by Bhimdhev Solanki,the ruler of Gujarat.

This temple was destroyed in 725 by Junayad,the Arab Governor of Sind.Those were the early days in which the humiliation of Hindus started.In 815,King Naghabhatta reconstructed the temple,in red sandstone.
In 1024,it was destroyed by Mohd.Ghazni.The king had heard about the splendour of the temple.What would be held in great wonder by any soul,mohd of Ghazni held in disgust.king Ghagha Rana died fighting for the temple at the age of 90,thereby sacrificing his entire clan.Mohd.Ghazni killed all the 50,000 people who tried to protect the temple.The speciality of the temple idol was it it was neither supported from below nor was it suspended from above.it just seemed to float mid-air.Lord Shiva seemed to be defying the laws of gravity and the laws of common sense.When the king asked his companions what they had to say about the marvel of the idol, and of its staying in the air without prop or support, several maintained that it was upheld by some hidden support. The king directed a person to go and feel all around and above and below it with a spear, which he did, but met with no obstacle. One of the attendants then stated his opinion that the canopy was made of loadstone, and the idol of iron, and that the ingenious builder had skillfully contrived that the magnet should not exercise a greater force on anyone side-hence the idol was suspended in the middle. Some coincided, others differed. Permission was obtained from the Sultan to remove some stones from the top of the canopy to settle the point. When two stones were removed from the summit the idol swerved on one side, when more were taken away it inclined still further, until at last it rested on the ground.The idol was broken to pieces.this was the first time the actual idol was broken,since the time the Moon God built it.The broken pieces were shipped to his homeland where they were used to lay the roads leading to a newly-built masjid,to show the superiority of Islam.All the muslims would now stamp over the idol while praying at that masjid.I don't know how people can be so heartless..
The wooden structure was replaced by Kumarpal (r.1143-72), who built the temple of stone.
In 1296 A.D., the temple was once again destroyed by Sultan Allauddin Khilji's army. According to Taj-ul-Ma'sir of Hasan Nizami, Raja Karan of Gujarat was defeated and forced to flee, "fifty thousand infidels were dispatched to hell by the sword" and "more than twenty thousand slaves, and cattle beyond all calculation fell into the hands of the victors". The temple was rebuilt by Mahipala Deva, the Chudasama king of Saurashtra in 1308 A.D. and the Linga was installed by his son Khengar sometime between 1326 and 1351 A.D.

In 1375 A.D., the temple was once again destroyed by Muzaffar Shah I, the Sultan of Gujarat.About 1400 A.D. it was reconstructed by the local public.
In 1451 A.D., the temple was once again destroyed by Mahmud Begda, the Sultan of Gujarat. It was reconstructed again.
In 1701 A.D., the temple was once again destroyed by Mughal Emperor Aurangzeb. Aurangzeb built a mosque on the site of the Somnath temple, using some columns from the temple, whose Hindu sculptural motifs remained visible.Queen Ahilyabai Holkar of Indore rebuilt the temple in 1783 A.D. at a site adjacent to the ruined temple which was already converted to a mosque.
Somnath temple in 1869...




After independence,Sardar Vallabhai Patel,destroyed the mosque on 19th October,1950 and promised the people of India that a new Somnath temple would be built yet again.Gandhi insisted that the temple must be built,not on government money,but on people's money.It was ok for him to fund haj pilgrimages but not to fund the reconstruction of the Somnath temple.It is noteworthy that it was Nathuram Godse who donated 500Rs. for the construction of the temple dome.Vallabhai Patel was the lawyer who bought death to Godse.Strange,indeed are the laws of nature.....
Work on the Somnath temple was completed in 1995 and it was thrown open for the service of the nation by Prem Kumar Dayal,the then President of India.
The Somnath temple was destroyed 7 times and rebuilt 7 times.Thats why it is known as the "Shrine Eternal".The temple is a symbol of Hindu pride and of Hindu revivalism.A beacon of hope to all of us who want to restore Hinduism's honour and regain its fading glory.............






Somnath temple-today







MAY LORD SOMNATH BLESS THE WORLD WITH DHARMIC BLISS.
MAY PEACE PREVAIL.

The most horrible day in the history of India-August 14th

August 14th is the day India was partitioned..the day in which the two arms of Bhaarath maatha were cut into pieces.the day on which the humiliation of Hindus started..the day in which Gandhi realized the consequences of his folly and the day in which India was damaged beyond repair.
Pakistanis call it their "Independence Day".They stress more upon the "Independence" they got from India rather than the independence they got from the British.It was the day in which the vicious cycle of violence,looting and molestation started.It was the day in which Hinduism-the world's oldest religion-was put to test.We have been ruled for post part of our Post-Independence era by the Indian National congress-the party which voiced its assent to the partition.So,we do not read anything about the sufferings Hindus who lived in what is today's Pakistan were subjected to.We have read nothing of the humiliations Hindu women faced.We have read nothing of the forced religious conversions that took place.We have read nothing of the way in which Hindus were driven out of their ancestral homes.We have read nothing of the desecration of thousands of Hindu temples.We have heard nothing of the the atrocities committed to innocent Hindu children and the murder of just born Hindu infants..Our history textbooks portray partition as a silent and peaceful affair..It is as though Gandhi and jinnah had a cup of tea and drew the line of Control and went to their lands along with their tribes.All this is done in the name of "secularism",which actually means treating all religions equally.What an irony!
The most tragic event in the history of Bhaarath is portrayed like a land-sharing deal..Dynasties have been washed away..Dynasties,whose legacies we will never come to know.Pakistan was born on Aug 14th and her first act was to spill Hindu blood.Just think for a moment-what crime did those innocent Hindus commit?What justification can anyone give to the killing of infants born to Hindu parents?
What was the necessity to drive Hindus out of the homes in which they had been living peacefully for generations?Only an Ismlami fundamentalist can answer these questions.........
The birth of Pakistan was for all practical purposes-the death of Hindu pride.Hindu women were made to clothelessly parade in the streets of what is today known as Pakistan(translated as "Land of the pure").Many of them committed suicide to protect their modesty.Those were the very streets which they would've crossed a few days ago to buy vegetables for their families and toys for their children.They perhaps never knew all this would happen..It  all happened too quickly for them to anticipate or comprehend..All this happened in the presence of the police,who provided total support to those blood-thirsty muslims..The impact one wrong decision can have..
The national boundaries were drawn on August 17th,1947..So,for a good period of time,Hindus didn't even know if they were in India or Pakistan.All this favored those religious fanatics superbly..While all this was happening,Gandhi and Nehru were nowhere to be seen.The so-called Mahatma who claimed to  champion the cause of women's rights saw no reason to protect the modesty of Hindu women in their hour of doom..it was Pakistan,he claimed..but,it was Pakistan due to his blunder.Was it the mistake of those women that they were born as Hindus and as women??It said that even M.A.Jinnah later claimed that partition was the greatest blunder of his life..
August fourteenth,1947 poses so many questions  to humanity..Questions to which we will never get answers..
Before you people wake up tomorrow and celebrate Aug 15th as Independence day,please pray God that nothing of this sort happens again...


References:May it please your honour
Gandhi-the curse for Hinduism
Various internet sites and my grandfather's memoirs..

Friendship...

Aug 1st......Friendship day arrives with friendship bands,smses that glorify friendship and we all pledge to stick to our friends till the end of our lives....It is a great day for fancy shopkeepers as they do brisk business...Most of the times,we find people wearing around 10 friendship bands on both their hands and it is a matter of pride for them that they have so many bands with them...I still remember how many of my schoolmates used to buy 2 friendship bands...one-to tie onto their friend's wrist and the other to make that (rather popular) friend tie onto his own hand..As i type,i receive an sms from a boy with whom i hardly talk,wishing me a happy friendship day in advance...would he send me that sms if he didn't have an sms booster in his phone?Probably not..I myself used forward friendship day greeting to the groups in my mobile..Lets reflect for a while on what friendship has been through the ages....
Man has always been a social animal...He has realized the importance of socializing right from his evolution.People can never live in isolation.They need mutual cooperation to achieve their goals and to meet their aspirations.This has led to friendship.We learn so many lessons from stories of true friendship.Rama and Sugreeva,Karna and Duryodhana stand tall as emulative examples of true friendship.They lived for their friends and died for them..But is that how it is today??
Today,friendship is more about status rather than the coming together of similar minds.The more friends you have,the more you can boast about.Friendship,these days,is merely a way to pass the time and to overcome the inner emptiness.Socializing is the order of the day..Often we talk to our "friends" being cautious not to be committal on anything.This is of course,the way to safeguard yourself,but is that friendship?People are brought together by the force of circumstances and they become "friends".
Friendship is more of a necessity nowadays.I find it really amusing when people ask me,"Did you get a lot of friends in college"?Actually,Y should i find a lot of friends?Isn't it enough if i have 2 or 3 understanding guys with whom i can share whatever i want to?What,really is the point in having too many friends?Fun and frolic,maybe..But,is that the aim of our lives?What about those times when i go through a lean patch?Of course,we can never do all we want by ourselves,but is friendship the answer to all that?Men work in  offices,and help each other,maintaining a formal relationship.They are not necessarily friends.Maybe,it is because of my shy nature or perhaps my DNA's orientation,i have never found it necessary to have a close relationship with too many people.I don't know whether its right or wrong,but this is how i think..
We live in an age of social networking.
Everybody falls into social networking at some stage in their lives..I too opened a fb account in the second week of this month-to spread this blog.I was stunned when fb actually predicted who my friends might be with nearly flawless accuracy.Bit scared,too..What followed was a battle of the mind.I found many people having more than 200 friends..But, can anybody have 200 friends from a practical sense?I never knew that friendship grew through requests.I thought it bloomed naturally.fb seemed to be a way of maintaing a cool image,one very,very different from one's actual character..I received a request from a boy whom i never knew.I didn't know if he would be notified if i rejected his request,so i accepted it..i didn't want him to feel bad..may be,his views are different,but how can there be friendship between 2 people who hold completely different views?Moreover,what is the necessity in being friends with people whose character i have no idea of?all this seemed too much to my reflective mind,and i deleted my fb account in a week.It was a huge sigh of relief..
It just didn't make sense to believe in advaita and have a fb account,simultaneously.Many accuse me of thinking like an old crap,but i would rather be old than do what i hate.Not everyone is the same..fb thinks otherwise..
Sugreeva in the Ramayana says,
"धना त्यागः गृह त्यागः
देगा त्यागो    विभाहुनाहा
वयास्यारथे  प्रवार्थंनथे
स्नेहम ध्रिश्त्व ताथा विधं"
(Noble men hardly ever enter into a friendship with the people of the world.But once they enter into one,they are ready to sacrifice their  wealth,house or even their body for the sake of their friends).
How many of your fb friends satisfy this criteria?
We cannot do anything about all this...This is indeed a reflection of the lives we live...
Ambarish

Linguistic chauvinism in Tamil Nadu

Tamil Nadu is a state known for its tolerance and ancient culture.விருந்தோம்பல் has always been the pride of Tamils,right from ancient times.But,ever since Independence,linguistic fanatics have overtaken Tamilnadu and hijacked the ideology of the Tamils.Opposition to Hindi has been a matter of pride for politicians in Tamilnadu.They always claim that Sanskrit(Hindi) has prospered at the cost of Tamil.They even attribute(without even an ounce of evidence) the fall of the Indus-Valley civilization to the advent of Sanskrit-speaking Aryans.True,such fanatics live all over the country,but the opposition to Hindi is not as strong as it is in Tamilnadu.For the politicians in Tamilnadu,learning Hindi is blasphemous.This has reached a crescendo in the last decade.
Once Hindi was adopted as the national language of the country,school students were instigated by hardcore fanatics to protest against this logical move of the Nehru government.They ridiculously demanded that Tamil,a language spoken by less than 5% of the country's population,should be made the national language.There is no debating the point that Tamil is indeed a great language,maybe even the oldest in the world,after probably Sanskrit.But,any demand should be backed by logic and not emotion.Of course,you have the right to demand even baseless things in a democracy,but what purpose will it serve?The demand for making Tamil as the national language still goes exists,but not as ferociously as it did in those early days of Independence.....
Nowadays,it is more about the oppression of other languages within the state.By a systematic approach,Hindi has been cunningly excluded from the Tamil Nadu state board syllabus.Right from the start,Tamil Nadu has always differed from other states in its educational policy.While all other states in the country adopted a 3-language policy while TN went for a 2-language one.English,thankfully,was compulsory,while matriculation students had the option of learning either Tamil or Hindi.Under the state board syllabus,Tamil was the compulsory medium of instruction while English was the mandatory 2nd language.There was no room for Hindi-the absence of the opportunity to learn a 3rd language took care of that.
Anyway,there were few takers for the state board medium of education as most parents opted to enroll their children in the CBSE or Matric stream of education.in CBSE,Hindi was  compulsory(it still is).The Tamil Nadu government recently decided to merge the matric and state board streams of education.When it did so,it conveniently excluded Hindi from the list of subjects which one could study.At present,there is no option for a student coming under the state board scheme,but to study Tamil.This is the case with many more states across India(in the state-sponsored boards,at least).This is indeed,welcome.But,one cant study Hindi,even if he wants to.I didn't call this as a cunning move for nothing.
It cuts off the student from the national language-Hindi-the language spoken by an over whelming majority in the country.The purpose of school education is to provide children with the necessary knowledge to prepare them for future challenges.Sadly,TN politicians use education as a tool for furthering their own divisive,narrow minded ideology.One look at the Tamil text books and you get a fair idea of their crooked ideas.Agreed,they don't tare Hindi to shreds,but they brainwash the students that Tamil is the only language worth knowing.Of course,language is a matter of choice,but you are actually denied the opportunity to pick your choice........
The recent decision of the Tamil Nadu govt. to exclude Hindi imposes problems of alarming proportions to not only State board students but also to students who study under the CBSE stream in Tamil nadu.For one,it eliminates the possibility of student transfer from  CBSE to state board if the student opts for Hindi,as one can no longer learn the national language under the state board scheme.Thus,even if a parent were to opt for the more advanced CBSE,he(or she) would think twice before having her child learn Hindi.I have not seen any such state where not knowing the national language is considered as a matter of pride,rather than a handicap.Moreover,just spare a thought for the Hindi-speaking minority that lives in Tamil Nadu.Isn't it natural for each and every soul to have a desire to learn his/her mother tongue ?The same CM who moots for Tamil education in Maharashtra has outlawed Hindi in his own state.We are faced with a possibility that in another 50 years or so,every body sings the national anthem(in hindi),but no one in the state knows the meaning.
There is significant opposition to English,though not as strong as there is for Hindi.Just watch மக்கள் TV if you want any proof.There is significant support for the demand that tamil alone should be used in the Madras High court.The government has announced that first preference to jobs would be given to those who study in Tamil.The government's agenda is clear-the more isolated you are from the external world,the more you shall be rewarded.The introduction of Tamil-medium Engineering syllabus supports this point.The same government which supports the introduction Tamil in universities the world over wants to create a linguistic void in its state.
It would do well to recollect Bharathiar's(whose footsteps it claims to follow) famous verse
"சென்றிடுவீர் எட்டுத்திக்கும் கலைச்செல்வங்கள்
யாவும் கொணர்ந்து சேர்ப்பீர்"

Is Indian culture against love?

Every year,during the month of February,there is protest in India from the side of fundamental groups,against all that is associated with valentine's day.we often hear tales of parents committing suicide on seeing their children marrying people by love,honour killings,couple being driven out of the village,homes,etc,etc..
The reason they give is that it  is against our tradition to marry by love.I too believed this argument for a while,because,it certainly seemed so from the outset,given the opposition love faces from within the family..But,as we know,a little knowledge is a dangerous thing..It became pretty clear as i went into some study of Indian history,epics that this was absurd..
Love has always been an integral part of Hindu culture..The concept of स्वयाम्वारम is proof of this..In a swayamvaram,the princess chooses the bridegroom among an assembly of suitors.She passes from 1 prince to another,and finally garlands whom she thinks is the most handsome among them..From a cruder context,this means love at first sight..If this seems to be a far-fetched conclusion to you,let us take into consideration the puranas,one by one..
Mahabharata: The mahabharatha is undoubtedly the greatest epic in the world,consisting of 1 lakh verses..There is a detailed description of the love between Nala and Damayanthi..Right from how the 2 people get into love to their marriage,the story is a celebration of true  love..There is a detailed account of their secret first meeting,of how love blossomed between them and their marriage.Not once does the sage Ved Vyasa criticize their love..Non criticism means approval,if not endorsement of their love..Vidura was born due to the marriage between a great sage and a chatiotress..Arjuna won Panchali in a shooting competition..Arjuna,(due to his flamboyance),was at times forced to marry som many women due to their sincere love..Bhishma's vow of celibacy  was due to the fact that his father Santanu fell in love with a fisherwoman..(Bhishma took the vow of celibacy to pacify the fisher woman's father who brooded over the fact that Bhishma would ascend the throne,by virtue of being the first son of Santanu.Bhishma swore that he would never marry,in addition to not ascending the throne on his father's death to facilitate the crowning of Santanu's future son).
Ramayana:In the Tamil Ramayana written by Kamban,there is a reference to the secret meeting between Rama and Seetha before Rama broke Siva's bow.."அண்ணலும் நோக்கினார் அவளும் நோக்கினாள்"is a popular,oft-repeated in the Kamba Ramayanam.Of course,there is no such thing in Valmiki Ramayana and this is just Kamban's imagination..But,isnt it indicative of the acceptability of love among Tamils in olden days?The story of sage  Rishyashringa also proves this fact..
Bhagavatham:This is one of the lesser known purana among the 18 puranas..It mainly narrates the avtars of Lord Vishnu,among other stories..the 8th Avtar of Vishnu ,Lord Krishna is the most adored Avtar among devotees..Krishna has stolen the hearts of so many devotees,over the ages,with his fickle action and childish gimmicks..The rasa Leela is a description of the love between a 7 year old boy(Krishna) and much older women..Krishna,in his older days,married 16,108 queens and lived with them taking 16,108 forms.
Gita Govindam:Krishna never married Radha in reality.There is no reference in the Bhagavatham to their marriage.The Gita Govindam is an imaginary verse on the marriage between radha and Madhava..starting from their love and ending with their marriage.The Gita Govindam contains certain portions which no one would dare to discuss in public for fear of being branded as a pervert.This is in fact,a form of Bhakthi.this is called the path of Prema..It is an accepted form of worship..
The Kamasutra is one of The Yoga sutras of Patanjali..
Love finds prominence in tamil literature as well..The சீவக சிந்தாமணி,திருகுறள் are proof of this..tamil poems on love are found aplenty.Bharathiar has sung so many songs on love..Love is merely an appreciation of beauty..Love shows the blossoming of the mind.Bharathiar famously sung,
"சிந்து நதியின் மிசை நிலவினிலே
சேர நன்நாட்டிளம்    பெண்களுடனே 
சுந்தர தெலுங்கிலே பாட்டிசைத்து
தோணிகள்    ஓட்டி விளையாடி வருவோம்!"
I don't want to bore you with countless references..Love has been never been a fact for shame,in India,right from olden days..To view love as a result of Western culture is highly ridiculous,and it amounts to showing disrespect to Indian culture..
Those who protest every time valentine's day comes have either not read Indian epics or are just furthering their own selfish,hardcore agenda..

Nachiketas and immortality

I wrote in my earlier post what led me to the study of advaita.I was also eager to learn about Nachiketas.I had heard about nachiketas.Not much.I just knew that he was a small boy who featured in the upanishads.I had heard that Nachiketas was a philosopher who tried to unravel the mysteries of the after life.
One day,i logged on to the internet and typed 'nachiketas'.I got a flurry of links.I browsed for a bit and found myself staring at an English translation of the Katha Upanishad.First,there was the story of King Vajasravas which led to a conversation between Yama and Nachiketas.
Nachiketas asks Yama,"Please tell me what happens to a man after Death".I was shell shocked when i read that Yama tried to evade that question by offering Nachiketas many other boons like banglows,cattle and beautiful women.But Nachiketas remained stead fast and insisted that he be properly initiated on the after life.Yama agrred to it.
I was expecting a description on the lines of the Garuda Purana.But,i was surprised to find that it was आत्मा विद्या(atma vidya).आत्मा विचरम was what yama asked nachiketas to follow.Hinduism's most subtle concept..Atma vidya..
Hindu scriptures always instruct the seeker of knowledge to understand the difference between the आत्मा and the physical body.As long as man is under the impression that he is a mass of flesh and bones,he gets trapped in the cycle of births and deaths and for such a person,salvation is just a dream.When he realises that he is atma,he attains मोक्ष(heaven).The atma is pure and  is unaffected by the sufferings of the body.So when one realises that he is atma,man becomes free of desires.For,all the fruits of our efforts are for the body and not for the soul(atma).The body is often likened to the shirt men wear.When it becomes old,we simply throw it away.we don't cling on to it..The body is merely the shirt for the soul,a covering.Just as our body is invisible as long as we wear the shirt,so is the आत्मा as long as man is deluded by the thinking that "this body is me".The body is mortal,while the soul is immortal.When a person dies,it just means that the soul is liberated from that body.The soul then attaches itself to another body.This cycle of births and deaths goes on and on,as long as there is an attachment to the body.Once a man realises that"I am atma",he breaks the cycle of births and deaths and attains salvation.
This is not my philosophy.This can be found in the Bhagavadh Gita,Adi Shankara's texts and the Ramayana.
In the Gita,Lord Krishna begins आत्मा विद्या with the lines
"असोच्या  अन्वासोचास्थ्वं  प्रग्न्य  वाचंत्हू  बशाथे
गथाशूं अगाथा शूम्स्था नानू सोचंथी पंडिता हा
कुमाथि  महारथ आत्मा विद्यया"
Shankaracharya's texts like vivekashudamani are based on the difference between the soul and the body.In the Ramayana,the earliest Indian epic(known as आदि काव्यं)Hanuman consoles tara,vaali's wife(after vaali's death) with these words"The body is like a water bubble-stays for a very short duration.Its foolish to expect a bubble to last forever.The atma is like the ocean-ever lasting.So stop grieving about the death of your husband".For someone who has realized his Self,there is nothing to grieve about.For,Happiness and sorrow are merely states of the mind,or rather mind's creation.The atma is never affected by the turbulence of the mind.Switching states of happiness and sadness do not affect the self sufficient atma.
In Kathopanishad,Yama tells Nachiketas about immortality.It is not something concerning the body,but the soul.Once Self realization takes place,man becomes immortal -not in the way we read in fairy tales or "Harry Potter and the deathly Hallows", but in a more subtler way..I dont think I've the acumen to explain further.So,i just provide you the link to katha upanishad.
http://www.gayathrimanthra.com/contents/documents/Vedic-related/katha_upanishad.pdf
May peace prevail.

Advaita-The crest jewel of Hinduism

 I wished i was dead.It was one of those days in which i found it hard to believe that my heart continued to beat.I found no reason,no right to be alive.But,there i was..hale and healthy.Inspite of the grief and misery that hung heavy inside the hall,i became a bit philosophical.I had read in the puranas that life ends only when yama arrives.Wasn't it time for him to turn up?Or was it because i was so very stone hearted?All those years i had been under the impression that there couldn't be nothing worser than death.But something had changed in those few minutes.There was a change,alright..Whether for good or bad,i didnt know.My mindset had changed.It definitely was something i couldn't understand.Suddenly,Buddhism made sense.The very same Buddhism i had fought hard to avoid,made perfect sense.Something in my DNA had changed..
Buddha says that along with each thought that crosses man's mind,he becomes a new jiva.This philosophy normally sounded absurd to me.If a new jiva is born with each passing thought,there could never be scope for recollection.One should never be able to switch to one's previous school of thought.But common sense and experience always always argued against this philosophy.man through generations had proven that he had the power to rectify,reform and change to the past form..
But,this situation was different.I really felt that i was no longer the same.A new jiva..no longer the same.For the first time in memory,i despised myself for being alive.My eyes fell upon the laughing Buddha on the fridge.He indeed seem to be having the last laugh.I had indeed lost a battle.A battle that had been going on in my mind.What the results would be,i found it frightening to imagine."You are too young,i told myself..You are not a new jiva..You are Ambarish and shall remain so..Such stupid thoughts do cross people's minds when you are in an emotional frame of mind".But that was not enough..
I felt too shy to reveal my thoughts to my parents.I knew perfectly well that my friends didnt know a thing  about all this.Where else could i go?my mind was turbulent.i could not trust it,atleast for the moment.dropping off to sleep would have meant staving off the problem at hand.I decided to place my trust in my own intellect.
Hinduism had been threatened by Buddhism for  ages.It had resulted in the conversion of millions of Hindus into Buddhism.But,even then,Hinduism had survived not only the Buddhist onslaught,but also the challenges posed by the marauding hordes of Ghazni,ghori,mughals,the mongols,and the cunning Christian missionaries.It continued to exist like the undying Sun.There must be a reason,i told myself.I searched for hope,peace and light.I prayed like i had never done before.. तमसोमा  ज्योथिर गमय..Lead me from darkness to light..and,light i did find..in the form of an undying lantern..
It was Adi Shankara..Adi Shankara had been the sage who had protected India from the on-slaught of Buddhism.He had freed many from the dilemna that existed in those dark days..Hinduism or Buddhism..He was the first person to introduce the concept of institutionalism in Hinduism.It was a significant,welcome change.Hinduism needed to adapt.His four mutts still stand tall as pillars of knowledge,enlightenment.Adi shankara had decided to give this small boy some knowledge,i was sure.With this thought,my old scepticism of Buddhism returned.Due to Acharya's grace.And through my common sense.I had gone back to my old thoughts.I had retrieved my old self.I had realized my power to recollect.This was something i had marvelled for so long(I mean,the setting up of four mutts).

Life had come a whole circle in the last 30 minutes..I had heard about Acharya'shilosophy of Advaita.All i knew at that stage was that advaita meant non duality." According to advaita,जीवात्मा and परमात्मा are one and the same",i had read somewhere.I didnt know anything else.Now that i had been freed from my dilemna with his help,i had a sudden urge to know more about advaita.I have been reading more and more about it whenever i have got time..It has been a transformation,if not realization.I now at least comprehend what is to be done to understand one's self,howerver far i may be from realizing it..It is a beginning,never the less.I know i have no worth to write about advaita in my blog,but still,i do feel the need to share what i know..So, i just give you the link to vivekashudamani,one of Acharya's many books on Advaita.http://www.vivekananda.net/PDFBooks/Vivekashudamani.pdf

 Regarding what made me feel that i had better die,i would write about it later..Its getting late..Got to sleep..

Ambarish